The Day The Wonderdog Flew

October 30th, 2015

It was a Friday. I think it was the afternoon, but it may have been before the vet closed for lunch at 11. Temperature was probably in the low- to mid- 70's. 

It was a good day. Cosmo went to the vet for a status-check on his allergies. This was perhaps the cheapest vet visit we'd encountered in his entire life with us, totaling less than $30. It was too good to be true.

Since we'd had such a good visit - no shots, no new meds, no major weight changes - Cosmo was in a better mood than normal on the ride home. He was standing up, looking out the windows as the world passed by. I decided I'd lower the driver side rear window a bit so he could feel the wind in his face. We'd driven most of the 6.2 miles from vet's office to our driveway without any issues. Then, Cosmo lost his ever-loving mind.

Cosmo the Labracadoberman Wonderdog decided to try his hand at either aviation or levitation that day. My favorite dog to ever exist jumped out the window, hit the asphalt, and barrel-rolled at least 3 times before standing and walking to the side of the road looking a bit confused and panicked. I found out just how good the brakes were in the Sportage that day. I threw the small SUV in park, leapt out of the door screaming his name and tried to approach as calmly as possible to prevent startling him further. My heart was racing as I knelt and called him in the calmest shaky voice I could muster. For maybe the first time in his life, he came to me almost immediately. Surprisingly, he allowed me to pet him.

As one would expect, he had road rash and some open wounds. I opened the trunk hatch and made movement to lift him into the vehicle. At that moment, he tried to jump into the vehicle himself - a feat he is still unable to do even as he has lost weight and is in good health - and came up short, causing him to fall to the asphalt again. I crouched to the ground to reassure him he wasn't in trouble and I lifted him (all 70+lbs of him) into the trunk. After 3 frantic, unanswered calls to my parents, I called the vet and explained what happened. They said they'd be waiting for me.

In the end, there were no broken bones. He had some nasty cuts and scrapes which meant more antibiotics, but luckily, we were on a rural road going only about 30mph with no traffic that time of day, or this story could have been his last.

This dog...

.

Crop Circles and Butt Dandruff

Remember those allergies we discussed last year? Since Summer is again upon us (and drowning us in humidity) Cosmo's skin is a mess. About 2 months ago, we had to take the beast back to the vet because of his crop circles... Not bare spots in the farmer's fields, but bare spots on his back resembling alien communications. 

Crop Circles

As you can see, these "crop circles" were odd enough to bring about some concern. after a month of antibiotics (on top of his 2x a day thyroid meds and 1 every other day Prednisone) and 2 baths a week with medicated shampoo, Cosmonaut the Magnificent Labracadoberman is FINALLY getting his fur back. This means he is also itching because of new hair growth, and the brushing he so loves is causing a butt dandruff buildup. (You read the title and chose to keep reading. I will not apologize.)

He's also at an awkward, stubborn, ornery teenage phase in which he refuses to eat dog food unless he is "starving to death" (aka "the middle of the night") and doesn't want to sleep when his peoplefamily sleeps. His favorite time to go outside is 2:30am. His favorite time to bark at the moon is approximately 2:48am when I've almost fallen back asleep. This wouldn't be so terrible if he wanted to come inside at that point -- but what he really wants is to make someone get out of bed to call him in so that he can ignore them and quiet down until they go back to bed and get comfortable.

I still tell him it's a good thing he's cute, or we'd have kicked him out a long time ago. 

That's Cosmo, almost-sleeping in the morning time.

You know, that time the rest of us are awake.

Cosmo be Nimble, Cosmo be Quick!

My beloved Cosmo is a nut.

In the past year, we've had more ups and downs, but somehow we are all still kicking!

Luckily, he seems to have ceased eating the walls and shoes. He still loves women's underwear (or any clothing item...Perhaps he just likes to chew on soft things.)

We've discovered he has allergies - something in the winter and summer gets that poor dog itching something fierce! We just took him back to the vet for more meds. They've said we now have to use a special shampoo that will ease his skin irritation so he'll grow his fur back in the bare spots. Never a dull moment.

Cosmo turned 2 on March 17th, and we celebrated with "pupcakes" made special for him. They even had a puppy friendly frosting. It was so cute watching him stand by the dining room table, nose in the air, sniffing around for the rest of the treats that he knew must be up there. I had to put them on a covered cake plate to keep him from eating all 12 at one time!

I've noticed lately he's less clumsy (though that tail can still clear a table in 3 seconds flat!) as he leaps from staircases, jumps through the yard, and bounces from this spot to the next chasing his tennis ball.

I love that bundle of energy, even if I have to physically force him into a bathtub or my car when the need arises.

One Man's Trash...

Cosmo was a literal throwaway.

Someone dumped him on the side of a dirt road in backwoods Alabama.  By the time my sister's friends picked him up and brought him to us, he was scarred, emaciated, dehydrated, and full of worms.  Sister took him to the vet and began the medicine and food regimen as prescribed by the doctor.  After a short time, puppy love Cosmo began to show us just how awesome he could be.  His legs were awkwardly long, and his feet were much too large for his body, but his clumsiness was adorable and his face was so sweet.  We "tried" to find a home for him, but had already fallen for those big hazel eyes.

At least he was already potty-trained.

Thus began the chaos.  He is spoiled and he misbehaves.  I did some research and found that he will probably be an "adolescent" for much longer than we originally thought.

He plays fetch, but prefers tug-of-war.  He loves shoes (especially new shoes) and women's underwear (a special affinity for blue bras).  The words "leash," "car," "vet," "bath," and "bed" make him cower and or/hide.  The words "pizza," "treat," "pizza treat," "outside," and "doofus" make him wag his tail (and knock over everything in his path.)  He loves to eat books, bookcases, wicker baskets, dry wall, any toy you give him, the squeakers out of squeaky toys, and really anything that he probably shouldn't eat.

Nachos, pizza, and green beans are his favorite foods... He'll try to remove them from your hand/plate/counter/table/fridge if you aren't paying attention.

When he's ready to come inside (or get out of my room) he attempts to turn the doorknob.  Luckily, our old doorknobs are a bit tricky to open even for those of us with thumbs, but I imagine he'll figure it out soon.  We have to keep a small screwdriver handy to unlock my door, as his attempts usually mange to turn that silly lock.  He also turns off the ceiling fan and opens the curtains when he gets too bored.

He also loves to (try to) eat electricity.  He likes cords, but only the ones that are plugged in.  I think he gets a (literal?) buzz.

He loves to chase children (to play, not attack) and dogs (to attack, not play).  He also thinks he is much smaller than his 60+ lbs.  I guess that is what happens when all your doggy brothers and sisters are small dogs under 20lbs.

He's survived near-starvation/dehydration, Parvovirus, and another unknown illness.  He might outlive us all.

He is Cosmo the Labracadoberman Wonderdog.